Sunday, February 2, 2014

If I Was Stuck on an Island

I adore, adore, adore disaster or apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic movies -- or just generally, anything that requires the hero/heroine to survive. So, it's no surprise that I've always wondered what I would do if I was stuck somewhere like Tom Hanks in the classic Cast Away. 

What would I do if I was stuck on an island -- with no communication devices?

1. The first thing is, let's be real, my hair. My hair barely makes it through the second day without washing. It drives me up the wall when it's oily and itchy. So, what am I going to do about my hair?! What if I didn't bring my hair tie with me? Can coconut milk be used as a shampoo? I assume there's going to be lots of coconuts laying around in a desert island. The movies out there don't portray an ACTUAL representation of how women who don't wash their hair look like. They magically look flawlessly messy and oily.

2. The second scariest thing is THE SUN. If you know me, you'll know I abhor the sunlight. I know the sun keeps everything alive, but it's the EFFECT of the sunlight on my skin that I hate. Ain't nobody got time to be tanned. We need to address this issue, but I know, I know, it's hardly supposed to be an issue.

3.  Shelter. I've learned that it's best if you build your shelter above the ground, away from animals and whatnot. But WHAT ABOUT THE ANTS? I assume there'll be ants. There'll be plenty of palm trees around everywhere so let's just tie a hammock between palm trees. Now, don't go asking me about where to find a cloth to make a hammock..

4. Water. Now this is a tricky one. If it's a tropical island, there'll be rain, I'm sure(?) I get real cranky without water every 10 minutes. Remind me to take a spile with me every time I travel ala Hunger Games: Catching Fire.

5. Food. Well, Kenny said that if we get stranded on an island together, he'll catch and cook rabbits for me. WHAT? I'm not French, I refuse to eat lapin! I don't know if one can survive on coconuts. Or maybe some sort of seafood. I heard you can catch fish with strands of your hair. If I'm ever stranded with Kenny, I'll let him sort out this department.

6. Build some sort of SOS sign on the beach and light it up at night. But, what if that attracts dangerous animals? But then, I read in a "cerita panjang" in Doraemon, that if you hide behind a fire, dinosaurs wouldn't come near you. Not sure how credible Doraemon comics are, though..

I'm a reasonably tough cookie, in today's city girl standards (ahem). I've watched probably all the Man vs Wild episodes (not just because I have a man crush on Bear Grylls) and I think I've got all the basic rules planned out.

Not withstanding the fact that every time I have a disaster dream, I am always the one who saves everyone!

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